A chat

Looking after ourselves (& families) in these strange times.

Our invitation is for you to slow down and get curious, first about how YOU tick…what you want and need & what your boundaries are in these new times. Then encourage your family to share what THEY want and need.

Our 6 human needs of which we all identify with different orders and degrees are:

Love & Connection:  the need for communication, approval & attachment, to feel connected with and seen by other human beings.

Significance: the need to have meaning, recognition, be needed, worthy of love, special, have a sense of pride.

Certainty: the need for safety, security, comfort, order, predictability, control & consistency.

Variety: the need for challenge, excitement, change, difference, novelty, adventure. For things not to be static for too long.

Growth: The need for personal development – emotional, intellectual and/or spiritual.

Contribution: The need to give beyond ourselves, being of service, giving care & protection to others and the world around us.

Developing and nurturing secure attachments in ourselves & our children requires 4 things to be in place:

We need to feel SAFE from harm (emotional, physical & sexual)

We need to feel SOOTHED when we are upset, scared or overwhelmed

We need to feel that the essence of us is SEEN by the people we care about.  Seeing ‘the real me’.

And we need to feel SECURE that these needs will be met on a consistent basis.

Our needs are important at every point of our lives, but at times of change it’s more likely that some of our needs go unmet…and when that happens it’s more likely that we feel stressed and more reactive.

Same with our kids.  

Which is why getting curious is so important so you can really know yourself and your family on a level that makes being compassionate towards yourself and each other the sensible thing to do.